Choose your friends wisely

Choosing the right friends is very important, because your friends help define who you are and who you'll become.  You want friends you can share important parts of your life with.  So what do you need to look for in a friend?  Here are my suggestions:

Choose a friend who is honest.  A friend who is honest is the best friend you could ever have.  Trust and honesty are important aspects of any good relationship.

Choose a friend who will stand by you in tough times.  It's easy to be a good friend during the fun times, but what about when things get tough?  Choose a friend who will not only laugh with you, but also cry with you - a friend who will offer you a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand when you need it most.


Choose a friend who gives as much as they take.  You will have some friends who take more than they give.  That is not a true friend.  When a friendship is one-sided you can end up feeling resentful and angry.  Choose a friend with whom you feel a balance of give and take.

Choose a friend who has your same values.  It's important to choose friends that respect or share your same values.  If you believe that drugs and alcohol are something you are against, don't pick a friend who loves to party and indulge all the time.  If you have an honest relationship with your parents, don't pick a friend who lies to theirs.  If your faith is important to you, don't choose a friend who puts it down every chance they get.  If your friends don't respect your beliefs, they aren't your friends.




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Self-Love

You can’t find self-love by gaining the approval of others.  Self-love comes from within.  You can only find it by loving and appreciating all facets of yourself - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Self-love does not mean you’re being selfish or arrogant.  Self-love means to care and respect yourself and to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses. To truly love another person, you must first love yourself.

Failure or opportunity?

Some things in life are out of your control.  You can turn it into a tragedy or a celebration, a failure or an opportunity.  It’s all in the way you perceive it.  Is the glass half empty or half full?  If you can step back and view the situation as if you are a bystander with no emotional or personal attachment, you can deal with anything in a more positive way.  Go ahead and cry, stomp your feet, yell or scream.  Then look at the situation as if it’s someone else's problem.  What advice would you give? 

Give to those in need

It is said that those who have should give to those that don’t.  You might think that applies only to the wealthy, but in reality it applies to everyone.  You see everyone is in need at one time or another, and everyone, no matter what their circumstances are in a position to give.  You don’t have to be rich.  Although monetary giving is the first thing that comes to mind, there are a variety of ways to help others.  Whether you offer love and support, make a charitable donation of things you no longer use, give to a food bank, or even give of your time, you can make a difference in your community and the world.  Give from your heart and not from a feeling of obligation.  Giving is a blessing to the receiver and to the giver, so each day give a little of yourself.  You’ll be happy you did. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Giving thanks is a state of mind that keeps your heart open to a universal flow that will attract great things into your life.  In ALL things be grateful, because a grateful heart is the key to abundance.  Plato said, "A grateful mind is a great mind, which eventually attracts to itself, great things."  Find something to be grateful for every day of your life and you will certainly be blessed.

Life is change

Life is change.  So expect it.  Nothing ever stays the same, nor should it.  Change is inevitable so like the tides of the ocean, learn to go with the flow.   Your life is like the seasons that go from winter to spring, and summer to fall.  Experience all of life, the good and bad and learn from it. Change is not an enemy but a teacher that gives you an opportunity to grow.

This is your life

Don't let others dictate your happiness.  Take the advice of Mark Twain who said, "Dance like no one is watching.  Sing like no one is listening.  Love like you've never been hurt.  And live like it's heaven on Earth." This is your life, so enjoy every moment of it. 

Stay Real

We live in a society that goes to great lengths to change who you really are.  Advertising is a       multi-billion dollar industry that is dependent on your lack of self-worth.  Through television, movies, music, and the internet, it is an advertiser's job to make you into someone you are not.  They promise you a better life if you use their products.  If only you try this, or wear that, or buy this, will you be happy.  You can't bottle happiness, it comes from the inside, not the outside.  It takes courage to be your real self.  Choose staying real over being liked.  It's a lot cheaper and you will never be disappointed with the outcome.

Treat your parents with respect

It's easy to take your parents for granted.  You forget or don't realize all the sacrifices they make for you on a daily basis.  It takes a lot of work to raise happy, healthy children.   Sometimes parents make mistakes.  They aren't perfect, but they do love you unconditionally and only want the best for you.  It might now always seem that way, especially when you've been punished, or you don't get your way.  But your parents show you in many ways how much they love you.  They work to give you shelter, to feed you, and to clothe you.  They take care of you when you are sick, protect you when you are scared, and comfort you when you are sad.  Show your parents how much you appreciate all they do for you by treating them with respect.  Be courteous and have a loving and caring attitude toward them.  Love them unconditionally.

Take 100% responsibility for your life

To live a life free from guilt, anger, and jealousy, you must take 100% responsibility.  Everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or experience is yours alone and you have to own it.  There should be no blame toward yourself, or others, but a life of forgiveness.    To change your life for the better, you must first change your perception of the problem. Anyone or anything you see as a problem must first be resolved inwardly, not outwardly.  As the saying goes you can't change others.  You can only change yourself.  Total responsibility, according to the Hawaiian "Ho’oponopono" belief, states that everything that exists in your life is a projection from within.    The Ho'oponopono mantra - "I'm sorrry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you," is a mental practice to make things right.  I look forward to one day discussing this philosophy with you.